I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
