She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
