I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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