Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
