I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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