when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
