I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
