I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
