My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
