im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
