this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm getting married
To pizza
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
