just come out here and I will go home with you...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize