holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
