very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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