So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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