I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize