Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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