someone threw a dead crab at me
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
