you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
