The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
