Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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