I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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