Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
