U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
