I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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