Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
MIDGETS
????
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
