i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
