Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
