i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
