So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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