I hate your face
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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