Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
