This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
