i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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