Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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