You made me cry and you don't even care
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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