I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
