he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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