You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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