Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize