Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
