R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
