these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
