Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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