we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Are we still banned from the library?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
