Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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