Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
