I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
