its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
