Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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