is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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