i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
