it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
