Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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