Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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