Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
