I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize