There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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