Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
