Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
