It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
