my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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