Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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