Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize