Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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