'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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