he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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