If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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