So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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