No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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