im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
