you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i dont even know how to be here
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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