OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
