i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
