so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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