that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
false alarm, still single
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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