I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
