My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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