Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
