I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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