mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
