how can u be prego again
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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